During his twenty-eight years on the high seas former Royal Navy officer Roger Paine served all over the globe and in almost every kind of ship – from submarine to frigate, and from destroyers and aircraft carriers to ice patrol ship. In this delightful miscellany of light-hearted ‘yarns’ he charts the ups and downs of life, both ashore and afloat. The hazards – including a seasick parrot, a gun-toting generalissimo, and the ever-present danger of diplomatic faux pas – and the pleasures – sun-drenched ports and glamorous cocktail parties aplenty. En route, we also get to know about the venerable history of rum, the sailor’s favourite tipple; the importance of ships’ pets in promoting the welfare of seafarers; and the traditional RN toasts for each and every day of the week! Charming, irreverent and occasionally indiscreet, here are ‘salty’ tales to be savoured and treasured.